Happy Halloween!

October's Ten Things

Some months are easier than others to find ten things to smile about.  But when you really stop and think, there are always way more than ten.  I've been blessed so much this month, I should probably have a hard time not smiling.

Here are my ten things to smile about in October.

1.  I'm not sure if I'm smiling that I'm still pregnant but I'm definitely smiling that I don't have a baby in the NICU right now! That makes still being pregnant so worth it.  I'm so grateful for how blessed I've been in this pregnancy.

2.  The end is in sight!  In a few weeks (or less!) I'll have a new baby.  And FOUR kids!!!!!  Saying I'm excited would be an understatement.

3.  This month, I've had over 20 women help my family.  Playing with Cooper, watching all my children, doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, bringing dinner, visiting with me and every random cleaning job and errand you can think of.  That doesn't even count what my mom and sister have done.  Or how amazing Todd is at doing all my jobs and his. Um yeah, people are nice.  And some things can never be repaid.

4.  8 weeks of bed rest and I'm still alive! 8 weeks people!  And last night I finished my 17th crochet project (none of which are doilies, honey!) :)...wow, I have a lot of time in my hands.  Some are gifts and have to stay secret for now.  But here are a couple cute little sea creatures I made:

5.  This picture makes me smile.  I feel slightly bad since she was honestly put out about something, but for some reason I really love it!  Rockin the pout:

6.  Watching my kids play makes me smile, even if they're loud...

7.  Celebrating my mom's birthday

8.  General Conference has made me smile many times.  I rewatch parts every Sunday while my family goes to church.  It came at a good time for me.  

9.  Todd.  Todd makes me smile.  I love him.

10.  Seeing my family dressed up for Halloween!  Such fun costumes!  And Cooper looks so cute!  My neighbor is already planning to take pictures with my phone for me tomorrow so I can post them. 

54 Days of Bed Rest

Today, day 54 of bed rest, I miss being a mom.  I miss running over and scooping my children up when they're sad and talking to them while hugging them on my lap.  If they are sad now, I can only call for them and hope they'll come over to me.  Sometimes they do...

I'll be glad to one day be the mom I want to be again.  To feel like I'm doing all I can to teach and love them.  To forget myself and go to work.  I'm not sure I could ever take it for granted again.  I am eager to have my work back.  Because it is mine, and because it is the greatest work I will ever know.

Fun with Dad

Todd just airdropped me a whole bunch of pictures he's taken over the last few weeks of fun outings he's taken with the kids. They were so fun to see!  I just want to share some of them here.  Todd has been so amazing during all of this.  Besides cleaning and cooking and grocery shopping and everything else, he even takes the kids fun places!

Pictures go back as far as Cooper's birthday and some were taken yesterday at Cornbelly's:

Starfish

Todd thought my crochet octopus could use a friend.  And I agreed.  So after much pattern hunting and a little tweaking, I created this little guy:

It's nice to have a buddy.

In other news, despite my discomfort I'm doing much better mentally today.  It's nice to know that when it comes, it also goes.

Crazy Brain

I had 14 contractions yesterday.  Kinda freaked me out.  They weren't close together, but they were evenly spaced.  I had had 10 the day before and lots over the weekend before I realized I ought to start counting.

I called the hospital/doctor yesterday afternoon.  They told me to lay flat on my side and not move (that's already what I do...) and call back in the morning.  They said I'd probably need to head in if they didn't stop.

I went to bed and haven't had any since. Well except one in the early morning hours I wasn't really awake enough to pay attention to and now one as I'm typing this!  Oh how nice...

See I wasn't going to call them again today because they have seemed to quiet down.  I feel like I'll make it until my appointment on Monday now.  But the weird thing is I mostly feel disappointed.  Um, yeah, that's a little weird.  If I think about it I'm totally relieved for my baby, but I guess disappointed for myself.  Six weeks of bed rest is more than enough for me.  I'm trying not to lose it honestly.  

Some days are harder than others.  I know that's normal.  Some days I can take it.  The days I can't end.  Some days my legs are restless and my everything hurts but those days end too.  I'll just keep not moving.  Hopefully the contractions will stay mostly stopped.  I know that's what I really want even if it kinda doesn't seem like it in my crazy brain.  Today I'm 31 weeks.

October Pictures

My kids decided they wanted to match one day and I got lucky enough to find them all agreeable for a picture!

Here's a couple fun messy Cooper pics:

I don't know what was worse, the donut or the creamie!

I like when Cooper is in the mood for hats!

And yay, a much needed haircut!  

And here's my bohemian princess!  And her brother with a hole in his jeans.  I swear my kids have matching non-holey clothes!  Oh well, I pretty much think they're cute no matter what they're in. :)

And here I am last Wednesday at 30 weeks pregnant.  Hopefully I'll stay that way for a while still.  This weekend I had a lot more contractions though so not sure how much longer I'll make it.  I've only had two today though, so doing pretty good.

(Looking at this picture totally makes me wish I could stand up...)

And here's a fun picture of my mom on her birthday.  The kids just love her.  They just surrounded her and smothered her with love and excitement.  It was fun to watch!  Cooper helped a little too much opening her presents.  I think Christmas is going to be exciting!

And I just noticed Ethan's wearing goggles on his head??  Ha!  Love that kid!

Ollie the Octopus

Over the last month or so while stuck in bed, I came up with the idea of doing the nursery in a nautical theme.  I like navy and gray together and thought it would be fun.  Most of the plans would have to wait.  But crocheting a lovie, now that was something I could do!

I spent a long time searching sea creature crochet patterns online and after quite a bit of no luck (also could be read as "I was being too picky!) I decided to try my hand at making up my own.  I wanted an octopus and had a picture in my head of how I wanted it to be.  Besides, I had/have plenty of time to kill. 

So that's how Ollie came to be!  I finished him yesterday and am quite happy with how he turned out.  I only pulled out and restarted a couple parts.  It was a fun process.  

Todd, noticing me wondering what in the world to do next, suggested I make Ollie a little starfish buddy.  That sounds like a good plan to me!  Though I might have to send him out tomorrow for some orange yarn!

Random September Pictures

I just wanted to post a few last (random and fun) pictures from the second half of September.  I'm slowing catching up!

Playing with his birthday toys

"Take my picture like this mom!"

Cute in a hat

Morning snuggles

My three

Button!

Watching the rain

Happy Birthday Mom!

My mom spends every day of her life serving others.

Recently she spends her entire days serving me. 

My mom loves.

My mom teaches by word and example.

She feels life.

She cares about people more than stuff.

Mom, today on your birthday, I want you to know how much I love you and how an hour doesn't go by where I'm not grateful for you.

Happy Birthday!

Cooper's Birthday

Cooper woke up really early on his birthday.  I'm not sure why since I don't think he knew to be excited.  But he was cute as he sat on the bed by me while I tried to wake up.

Later in the morning, Todd took the kids to the farm.  I think Cooper enjoyed the animals and tractor ride.

That evening, we had a small gathering for presents and cake and ice cream.   He was cute ripping open his presents and loved getting a digger and a garbage truck!  He also had fun playing with his new basketball hoop!  So much fun that Ethan was dying for treats and couldn't get Cooper to stop playing with his new toys.  Finally Ethan reminded Cooper that his cake had diggers on it and that's all it took!  Cooper dropped his toys and ran into the kitchen shouting "Ber-day cake!  Diggers!"  

Cooper surprised us all by blowing out his 2 candle with one simple blow!

Ending the day with cake and ice cream is a pretty good way to go.  Happy birthday Cooper!

  

Cooper's Birthday Cake

I love making special birthday cakes or cupcakes!  It's so much fun.  This year was a little different, but thanks to Todd and Raelynn, I was still able to decorate Cooper's cake.

Todd made and frosted the cake and then they brought it over to me to decorate while resting on the couch.  I was having a hard day, missing out on Cooper's birthday fun and everything, but decorating his cake really lifted my spirits.

Cooper loved his cake.  And he's enjoyed playing with the diggers ever since.  

Cooper

Cooper!  You had a birthday and now you are two!!  Though if I ask you, you say "three!"  Only because you like to count.  If I ask you if you are one, you'll say two.

Ways that I'd describe you:

Silly.  You love to do things that make people laugh.

Rascal. You like doing things you know you shouldn't (though you haven't colored on the walls for a while! )

Clever.  You can say everything.  You can count.  You know where I hide things.  You know where we are when we're driving in the car.  

Messy. You like to throw your food, your tray.  You like to take a big drink of water just to spit it out.  You like to dump things out and get covered in dirt.

Darling.  Everything about you is cute.  Every thing you do and say.  Even when you're being the mess maker.  I love your mannerisms.  Your twinkly eyes.  The way you cock your head.  I love how you call for me almost every morning even though I haven't been able to get you out of bed for over a month.  I love your hair. You have great hair.  I love the way you run.  

Polite.  Well, for a two year old!  You say please and thank you and fold your arms during prayers.

Captivating.  We've all loved you from the moment we saw you.  You make our lives happy.  You make us better.  You keep us busy.  

Happy Birthday to my sweet Cooper.  I love you forever!

My happy guy on his birthday

Baby Love

When I first went down, all I could think about were the people right in front of my face.  I had people ask me how I was doing in regards to my baby and I just told them I couldn't think about that.  My brain really didn't seem to let me think about him at first.  Probably because of how hard it was for me when Cooper was in the NICU.  And this time would probably be much harder and longer.  If I thought about it, I was taken back to Cooper getting transfusions and the pain was so fresh.  I can feel everything again if I let myself.  So I just didn't think about him.

That was fine for awhile, but then I started getting bugged that I couldn't think about him.  My brain just wouldn't let me.  Until I went and had an ultrasound where they gave me this picture:

I sat there staring at it that afternoon and suddenly he was so real!  I suddenly loved him so much.  And yes, I cried like crazy.  But I was also so happy that he was real to me.  And no matter how hard it is, I can hardly wait to have him in my arms.  I know it might be scary, but I feel an overwhelming sense of peace.  He'll be okay.  And he will be mine!!

I made these for him:

I hope the hat ends up being too small.  That would be awesome.  

I love you baby!  You are so worth every second I'm in bed.  Every second I'm missing out on stuff.  I love how I can feel your precious and powerful spirit already.

Bed Rest

I wrote the following down just three days after being put on bed rest.  I thought it was worth sharing.  I'm not sure I've been very good at focusing on the positives.  I've had some really hard days.  But I'm still trying!

Bed rest

I can't be in the sounds of the seasons choir.

I can't go to church.

I can't witness the Ogden temple dedication with my 8 year old son.

I can't go to San Francisco on a get-a-way with my husband.

I can't take Cooper to the farm for his second birthday.

I can't watch my children in their swimming lessons.

But

I can witness them serving.  Doing jobs they've never tried before because they thought they couldn't do them.

I can watch my husband take on everything with no complaints and so full of love.

I can feel the power of the prayers that surround me from the countless people that love me.

I have time to think of my Savior, of motherhood, of what is important.

It isn't easy and it will be long

But,

I want to focus on what I have and what I can and what I feel that is good.

And someday

I'll hold a little precious boy with a strong spirit and a brave heart.  He'll have to be a fighter and I'll feel his bravery and absorb some for myself.

...

Pictures from the first week of bed rest: compression pumps at the hospital, paper jewelry from my kids, and stacks of toys on me from Cooper:

Bed rest selfie, taken day 13 of bed rest

Day 22

I stare at my feet, the tv, board games, and crochet.  (Not pictured: my book, my scriptures, and my journal).